Finding Mother
by Clary221
Summary: Kaitlyn has never fit in. Her mother and her sister , Clary, left her when she was a child and she has never found a true home. With Harry Potter as her cousin and Clary Fray as a sister her life is a rollercoaster of emotions.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I began my speech with " I Kaitlyn Fairchild am so honored to be recieving this award tonight," I waved happily to the crowd of fans and warroirs below me, "Throughout the years this war between good and evil has brought hardship sorrow to so many families. Along the way I have lost so many good friends and so many wonderfull warriors. This is a war that can never be won but must be fought for all eternity. I am so pleased to have fought along side so many amazing warriors. I am even more pleased that they have elected me as Best Shadowhunter of the Year."

Oh, please," an annoying familiar voice cut into my reverie, "There is no and there never will be a Best Shadowhunter of the Year award," finished Isabelle.

"Yeah, Izzy's right. That's the whole point of hunting in the shadows. No reward. Our only reward is the knowledge that we saved a helpless mundanes life." said Alec in his superior tone. Being an older brother he tended to use that tone with us often.

"Sheesh. Can't a girl dream around here?" I replied before leaving the room. Obviously my hopes and dreams were not appreciated here. As usual the institute was empty except for the three of them and Hodge, the institute proffesor and our only true caretaker.

As young shadowhunters we spent our days training and staying locked up in the institute. Maryse and Robert Lightwood my adoptive parents and the true parents of Izzy and Alec were almost never around. They were always leaving for Idris and if they were home they were busy calling the Consul and council memebers about Idris business. Though I loved Alec and Izzy and considered them to be my brother and sister I spent most of my days alone. Each day I spent and hour or so exploring the rooms of the institute., and the rest of my day playing the piano and reading. Today I felt different. I felt anxious. I felt the sickning feeling in my stomache. The face of a boy with beautiful gold hair and sad eyes stared at me. Then a whisper from far away said Jace Herondale. Suddenly it was all gone. It had happened to me alot lately. I would see random clips. Sometimes I would see a scene and it would happen the next day. It was almost as if I could see the future. Of course I hadn't told anyone. I was afraid of what they might think.

Under my feet I felt a familiar rumbling. It was the portal, this ment that Maryse and Robert had come back from Idris. Just as any kid would of done I went rushing into the library to meet them. When I ran into the room I couldn't believe my eyes. There standing in front of me was the golden haired boy from my vision. "Welcome to the institute," I said my voice dripping with sarcasm, before giving a curtsey and leaving the room. Once out in the hall I felt bad for being so rude. I was just so surprised I put up my invisible wall. Before mom could come to find and scold me I ran to my room. In my room I began to feel bad for the young boy. He probably was expecting hospitality, not a complete lack of manners. I was so exhausted that I fell into a light nap.

When I awoke, my hair was shooting out everywhere, and the clock read 6:40 p. ! It was almost time for dinner. I quickly ran a brush through my hair and smoothed out my clothes. I sternly told myself not to be rude to the new boy at dinner. I then began my decent to the kitchen.

When I reached the kitchen Jace was standing there with Izzy and Alec. As I entered I a gave a loud cough to announce my presence. Izzy and Alec both gave me looks of disappointment, while Jace stared at me curiously. Knowing I had gotten his at attention I introduced myself, "I don't think I have properly introduced myself. I am Kaitlyn Fairchild." I said this in my most sincere tone as to not seem sarcastic. Jace then stuck out his hand and said, "I am Jonathan Christopher Wayland." At that I whispered," Jace,"under my breath.

"What did you say?" Asked Jonathan.

"I said Jace. It would be a good nickname for you."

"It sounds nice," he said with a smile.

At that, Maryse looked at me with pride. It was such a motherly gesture I couldn't help but smile back. As mom and I shared our moment of happiness Jace almost cringed at the site. It was not a cringe of disgust,but more of a cringe of sadness. I knew the feeling well.

During dinner, everyone stayed quite quiet. I decide to begin some conversation with a question I knew could bring a lively conversation to a group of shadowhunters.

"So, I want to know what your prefered weapon is Jace Wayland," I said in a slightly flirtatious tone.

Jace replied, " Weapon of choice is a seraph blade. What would your weapon of choice be?"

"Well, I prefer to use a dagger. Izzy loves her electrum whip and Alec is passionate about the crossbow, but I like to be different."

"Why a dagger"

"I always felt like a dagger represents slight of hand. You have to be so sneaky. You have to make that demon believe that they can trust you, so that you may get close enough to kill them. I feel like slight of hand and untrust fit perfectly with me. I have seen others trick people, I unfortunately have experience," I said in a slightly nostalgic tone,"People do it all the time. They bring you close. Make you believe that you can trust them as a friend or family memeber. Then they turn around and stab you in the back." I said coldly. This conversation had taken an unexpected turn and was leading me down memory lane. A lane I had no want to visit. After a moment of silence I got up from the table and began to walk back to my room.

"Kaitlyn where are you going? Dinner isn't over yet," said mom.

"The onions are making me slightly teary. I am going to head back to my room." I replied curtly and rushed out.

I had no intention of going back to my room however. I went to the music room. When I played the piano the only thing I thought about was the cords and the beat, no memories resurfaced and no akward conversations occured. I was so in to the music I didn't even here Jace walk into the room. But when the door slammed shut loudly I looked up to see Jace standing above me. A mix of emotion all over his face. He was sad and currious but most of all he was longing. He was longing for something he would never have again. A family of his own. I had seen that look in the mirror so many times that I had memorized it.

"Kaitlyn, what have I done to make you hate me?" He said is voice hurt.

"I don't hate you. Why would you think that?"

"Today, at dinner we were having such a wonderful conversation, and suddenly you rushed out with some exuse of onions burning your eyes."

"Look, it isn't you it's me."

"That's what people say in books. It usually ends up being the other persons fault. Can't you just tell me what went wrong."

"Jace," I said tenderly,"You did nothing wrong. Talking about daggers, my whole speech about stabbing people in the back It all brings back memories I don't wish to remember. I wasn't always a Lightwood. My life before had a tragic ending."

"What happened? Where your parents killed too?"

"No. I had everything I could want. I had a mother a sister, but no father because he had left shortly after I was born. I never really wanted a father anyway so it was quite fine. But then one day that dream of a life I had was taken away from me. We had just gotten home from the park and I was frolicking around the foyer dancing and laughing. My mother was with my younger sister,Clary, helping her unbutton her coat. Just then, our door broke in. A frightfull demon strode into the house. He was unlike any demon I had ever seen in any of my mother's old books. He had no nose and his face was white as paper. He looked almost human other than that and his lack of hair. My mother froze but only for a moment. She threw her dagger at the demon, but he deflected it easily. My mother than took Clary into her arms and looked over at me 'Be strong' was all she said before vanishing into thin air. The demon then turned to me he tortured me for no reason at all. Then he said a curse I will never forget. He preformed the killing curse. Odly though I did not feel a thing. For some reason he just writhed in pain. After that night he left me in my house, and hasn't returned since. I was then kindly taken in by the Lightwoods and have lived here ever since." While I was talking he had come to sit next to me on the piano bench. He was so close that I could feel the warmth coming off of his body.

"You could of told me this you know," He said.

"Well, it's not exactly something you mention at a nice dinner." I replied in a whisper.

"I want you to know I will always be there for you. You probably don't trust me at the moment, but I will prove myself to you. I promise I will never turn around and stab you in the back," he said so tenderly that it almost hurt my heart to hear.

What hapoened next was as much a surprise to me as it was to him. I leaned forward and kissed Jace. This kiss was the msot amazing thing I had ever felt. His lips were as soft as clouds and he smelled like sweet honey and flowers. Being my first kiss I had to say it was the msot extraordinary kiss I had ever had. After kissing for what felt like hours but was only probably seconds. I pulled back realizng what I had done. I apologized before jumping out of my seat and running for the door. I ran to my room with my head down so embarrassed of what had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I only own Kaitlyn Fairchild and the plot of this story. All other places and characters are places are owned by Cassandra Clare and J.K Rolling.**

**Chapter 2**

_ After two years of living at the institute Jace had really wiggled his way into the family. As Kaitlyn's best friend, Alec's parabatai, and Izzy hero, he had a lot on his plate. As for Kaitlyn she stayed busy using shadowhunter runes and angelic magic to try to find her runaway mother and sister, while constantly flushing away the memories of Jace's first night at the institute. Though she was now his best friend she still had feelings for him that time would not wash away._

"Wow, how interesting, Alec. You totally blew my mind with that speech on demon ichor." I said sarcastically.

"Don't act so happy for me, Kaitlyn. This is only the most important day of my life. If I can impress Hodge, than I will move to my next level of training."

"So then you will have to study another year to go to another level. Honestly it doesn't really matter you are officially a shadowhunter when you turn eighteen. It's not like training is going to change that."

"Well, I want to be worthy of my title unlike you," said Alec defiantly.

He just wouldn't give up on the stupid idea. We had spent hours fighting like this. Which was a huge waste of my time. Lately, I had been spending time tracking down my lost family. So far I knew they lived in New York. But being the big city it is, it would be hard to just roam every block until I found them. I hadn't told Izzy and Alec since they would most likely tell mom that I was trying to break the law. Finding and communicating with shadowhunters who left the Clave was illegal and I could be stripped of my runes for it.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. Alec's right as usual. Now I have more important things to do right now," I said before walking off.

On my way to my room, I ran in to Jace who was carring a stack of boring looking novels.

"Why in the world do you so many dull looking books?"

"Well, while you curl up in your room all day seeing the future I have to entertain myself. I can't spend all my time crying over being less important than finding your future husband."

"I do not waste my time finding future husbands," I said with disbelief, "And thanks for crying for me at least ten percent of the day."

I then continued heading down the hall. As soon as I was in my room, I locked the door. After hours of potions and runes gone wrong, I finally gave up and threw my self down on the bed. I'd hoped that each day new info would come up but so far I'd gotten no farther than New York City. Then I thought, if I look in the restricted section of the library I might find a field journal or a book of different runes that could help me. Being the honorable girl I was, I would never go in the restricted section. So I decided I would ask Jace of he could go for me tomorrow.

"Nice hair today,Jace," I said hoping to appeal to Jace's self-loving nature.

He replied sarcastically as usual, "Some refer to my looks as a rugged beauty. And by the way what do you want from me?"

"Do I need to want something to compliment you?"

"If your Kaitlyn? Yes," He replied factually.

Thier goes my plan of being subtle. I had wanted to ask Jace in an inconspicuous way. I guess now I would just have to ask him full out.

"Well, this time in particular I do need you for something," I said.

"And what would that be, dear?"

"I would prefer to discuss it some where private. If that is all right with you," I said, trying my hardest not to sound strange.

"Of course I would. I just love talking to you when no one else is around," he replied sarcastically, before winking at me.

As we made our way back out to the hallway, I thought how much of a pain he could be at times. His sarcastic nature and self confidence was what made him so annoying. Yet these where what drew me to him so much.

"Okay, Jace, I need you to get me a field journal or book of runes for tracking from the restricted section of the library for me."

"Well, doll I am going on a good streak," he said," Unless you can of course convince me to do otherwise."

"Cut the sarcasm crap. What do you want."

"I want you to see my future."

At that I froze. Jace knew what oath I had taken. Last year a vision had come to me, it had forced me to make a vow to live the pure life off a seer. I could not tell someone of their future or interfere with the future in any way. Jace was the only one who knew of my power and my oath. How could he use it as an ultimatum for me. Sure he was hard on me about letting others do my dirty work, but he had never tried to manipulate my powers. I looked at his face. He was wearing a smirk. I felt my eyes become glazed over.

"I expected more of you, Jace. You really are a jerk," I said shakily, before walking away.

I had spent hours in my room sitting, thinking of my life. After Jace's comment I began to wonder what type of person I was. When I died would I be remembered as a jerk. I know that fourteen was too early to think of death, but that didn't help. Was I really the bad one. Did everyone hate how I made them do my dirty work, and if they said no, how I would give them ultimatums. I was brought out of my reverie by a soft knock on the door to my bedroom.

I opened the door to see Jace staring at me. In his hand was a small leater journal.

Automatically assuming he needed help with his studies, I said, "Sorry, but the proffesor is out today. She has come down with a horrible sickness in her stomache.

"Look, I am not here for your help. I came to say that I am sorry about what I said earlier. It was insensitive and I shouldn't have said it. I hoped I could make it up to you by getting this for you," he held up the journal from his hand and I could see a field journal and immediately realized he had done what I had asked, " I know your gonna hate me for saying this but you still have to do something for me if you want it."

"You really gonna go down that road again?"

"This time it something much more simple. What do you need this for," he asked holding up the journal.

I pulled him into my room by the shirt, and peeked out into to the hallway to make sure no one was watching. Then I looked at Jace who was standing still where I had put him, like a deer in headlights. Obviously frightened by my behavior. I let out a huge breath and went to sit on the edge of my bed gesturing to Jace to relax. He just continued to stand there.

"The reason I haven't told you what I've been up to is because I am breaking the law and-," before I could finish my explanation Jace made a gesture of mock shock.

"Oh, Kaitlyn doing her own dirty work. I am quite surprised," he then leaning against the bedpost and put his hands out welcomingly," Well in that case, welcome to the darkside sister."

"Jace, I am not joining the darkside. I am only doing this to find my lost family."

At that Jace's face went blank. He then looked at me sympatheticly. But I didn't want his sympathy right now. I wanted him to be tough, telling me that I was doing th wrong thing. Deep down I wnated to stop the search. In the pit of my stomach I knew something would go wrong. I just couldn't stop myself though. It had been my life long dream to find them, and now that I was so close I couldn't stop the search.

"And I am helping you," he said sincerely.

"Jace, no you could-"

"Hush," he said coming to me and putting his finger over my half open lips, "You can't say anything to stop me. This is a choice I made."

I was both proud and angry. Jace was giving up everything by helping me. He was also doing exactly what I didn't want. I don't know what came over me but I jumped up and hugged him. We stayed that way for a while before breaking apart to start our research.

It had been a week since Jace had given me the forbidden field journal, as we liked to call it. I hadn't read past the first page. I had opened it and in print lie my name. Under it was a sketch of me as a child. Under that was an entry talking about my power to See. Looking at the page I felt as if I was in a movie. I felt as if I was going to find all the answers. I was going to realize my fate, good or bad. As all good main characters, I wasn't ready.

As I turned the page my mouth fell open. The page held a tracking spell. But the odd part was it was written in another language, one I knew well. A language I had created as a child. That is how I knew it was a tracking spell. Before I could stop myself, I had mumbled the words of the spell. I knew that it wouldn't work because I wasn't a wizard. At that moment my ideas of the world were shaken. I felt the familiar feel of the tracking rune. And before me stood my sister. Taller than before her red mess of hair falling over her shoulders.

"Can I help you," she asked politely.

"I can't believe it's you."

"I don't know you," she replied almost sympatheticly.

"You don't recognize me? You don't remember me," I asked quietly my heart sinking. My sister didn't even know who I was. She stared at me as if I was a stranger.

"I am sorry, but no. Maybe we could get coffee some time and you could catch me up. Now I need to get to class though, so bye," She said before waiving and walking away.

As she strolled away my heart shattered. I had imagined this moments so many times. Once I had even dreamed this exact outcome. I had never imagined it would feel like this. I looked her in the eyes and all I could see was ignorance. I decided to go to the creator of this mess, our mother. I walked slowly into the principals office. Looked up Clary's file and found out where her and my mother where living.

I walked out of the school confident and scared at the same time. I was going to fix this mess. I was going to get my family back. I wasn't going to be a lost girl anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I only own Kaitlyn Fairchild and the plot of this story. All other places and characters are places are owned by Cassandra Clare and J.K Rolling.**

**Chapter 3**

I was standing in the front of the building, now. I knew the buzzer number but I still hesitated. _What if my mother didn't remember me? What if she did? What would I say? _ Being a shadowhunter meant being strong and brave. I had face monsters and demons before. Why did this feel worse? I'd trained to fight other demons, but this was something I had only ever dreamed.

The buzzer made a satisfying sound. After a few seconds a voice came out on the other line

"Hello, who is this?"

My breath caught at the sound of my mother's voice. I quickly cleared my throat and said, "Delivery."

I don't know why I lied. I felt frightened so I did what any scared person would do I lied. I heard the door buzz and I was able to go in. In the lobby a dirty hat was laying on the floor. I quickly picked it up and put on. The front went down so far I could barely see past it.

I managed to make it to the second floor. As I got there my mother opened the door. She looked at me confused.

"Is this a delivery for Luke Garroway? I have to tell him to stop receiving mail at my house," she said flustered.

I slowly removed my hat and said, "No. The delivery is for you."

For a moment we looked into each others eyes and then I saw the remembrance flicker in her eyes. Her hands dropped from the door went to cover her now open mouth. As I looked at her, I felt small. As if I was a five year old waiting for my mom to kiss my boo-boo and put a band-aid on it. But then I hardened, remembering all she had put me through by leaving me. She seemed to harden to.

"Why are you here?"

"Why, can't a girl come visit her horribly careless mother," I asked partly because I wanted to know and partly because I wanted to be sarcastic.

"No. You should not. You don't belong here," she answered much to my surprise.

I replied innocently, " Do I bring up to many bad memories? Do I remind you of your past? "

"You are a part of a past I have forgotten. You are no longer a part of me.

At that my heart broke. She had basically disowned me. She told me every memory I had with her was forgotten. She told me I had no family.

I still couldn't let down my careless facade, "Even a crappy mother like you should know that's mean. It is rude to tell someone you never cared about them," but I didn't stop at that, I couldn't stop at that, "I guess you wouldn't know about the rules of society, since you ran away from them."

Her face crumbled for a moment. She looked so vulnerable. But then she looked away. When she looked back at me, I saw that her face had hardened.

I took that chance to squeeze by her into the apartment. It looked like my mother had taken her art hobby way more serious since I had left, with paintings all over the walls. I sat down on a couch in the center of the room, and looked up at my mother. From this point of view it looked like she was about to scold me about being out to late last night. I wish that was what was happening. I wish I was having some normal fight about staying out late with friends, instead of this fight, if you could call it that.

I took her sudden silence as a chance to change subjects, "Is Clary happy?"

She looked confused for a moment before answering, "As a matter of fact she is doing very well. I don't want you coming in a ruining that for her. This summer she will be going to art school. She saved up all the money."

I made a vomiting motion at the mention of art. I had never really had an appreciation for any art other than music. My mom said that came from my father.

"She doesn't seem happy by mortal standards. She smiles but she only has one friend. Anyway I am glad she learning to take responsibility for herself. Something you could learn," replied calmly, much to my own surprise.

"How do you know so much about Clary? You better not have talked to her." My mother said her voice raising with each word.

"Oh, we had a lovely conversation at school today. We're even getting coffee together later. Aren't you glad, mother? Your two daughters getting along very well. Every mother dream come true." I said sarcastically.

"What did you tell her?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just how close we used to be."

"Leave Clary out of this. Your anger is toward me," my mother said sounding trying to sound brave.

"But she has everything to do with this, mother. I know when I'm not wanted or needed. I don't care whether you want me or not. I care whether you're going to let me be a part of Clary's life or if I am going to have to force myself into her life," after that I gave my mother an evil grin. She stopped for a minute frozen in thought.

Then she met my grin with one of her own, "You're going to have to try fighting your way in."

I was surprised by her answer, but I got up and began walking to the door.

just then I remembered the name she had mentioned in the hallway, "Who is Luke Garroway? Is he Clary's father?"

She took a moment to formulate her answer, "He is no one."

"No one just like my father," I didn't say it as a question I said it as a statement.

I didn't give her a chance to add anything I was already outside of the building. I was walking. I was thinking of the only time I had ever met my father. It had felt like a normal day. I was playing with my new sword. I was sitting in the living room making holes in the stuffed monsters I had created out of my old clothes. I heard a knock at the door and opened it. There was a tall handsome man with sandy blonde hair stood over me. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful site he had ever seen. He said, "It's you it really is." Just then he picked me up and gave me a hug. I asked him who he was, even as a four year old I knew to ask such questions, he answered, "I am your father. I have come back for you. I will never leave you again. No matter what the gods say." I looked at him with a new found love. I had grown up with no father, and now I had one. Just then my mother came rushing up behind us and snatched me out of his arms. She put me down in the living room, and went to my father saying, "You can't be here. You know why." I sat there obediently waiting for mom to come back. When she did come back I asked her why she had kicked out my father. She told me to forget everything he had said and to forget him.

By the time I was pulled out of my memory, I was back at the institute. I entered and went to my room. Sitting there was a familiar man in silk robes. He sat at the edge of my bed, reading the "Forbidden Journal." As I came in he looked up at me and said, "Now do you believe me?"


End file.
